so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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