Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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