new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize