u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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