I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
