So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
