Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
