as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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