i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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