Whod you bang
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
