I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
