I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
