Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
