There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
