i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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