What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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