and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
