"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
