Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
