i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
40s are totally the cure
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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