you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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