I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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