I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
