I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
