dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"