Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.