sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
What drink are we having for lunch?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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