Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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