goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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