it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
