When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
