she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
