went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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