dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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