I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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