he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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