apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
