I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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