sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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