i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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