I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize