Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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