Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
we should paint friendship bongs
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