i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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