do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
