After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
