Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
