This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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