just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
