it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
