I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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