I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
