OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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