I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
