sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
