everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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