on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
