where am i from again
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
