margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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