All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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