A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
