no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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