Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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