ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
